Jan. 26, 2000 - Wednesday
Following Harry's new smiling exhibitions, his mother has worried that Harry smiles at his father and not at her. "Perhaps I'm just a food supply to him," she says. "Maybe he's not happy with me" or "maybe I'm not stimulating enough." Harry's mother is mostly joking, of course, but those seem to be normal anxieties of new parents. What if he doesn't like me? What if he cries whenever I hold him? I know similar types of thoughts have passed through my mind.

I'm lucky in this particular case because I have a more active and pliable facial type than Harry's mother and am more acquainted with unguarded silliness than she. I've successfully manipulated those assets on Harry's behalf and been able to catch his fleeting attention at times. He smiles and gets excited about my little show and it's easily the highlight of my day. I'd like to think it's the peak of his day, too, but that's asking a lot at this point in his life. He's just trying to figure out that those flailing arms are his, let alone who's winning quality time points. We can really just only be content now that Harry seems comfortable with us and the environment around him.

The real laugh is that we're just getting started. These little 'do I make him happy' mind games are just warm-ups for our parenting psyches. There will be times as Harry grows that one or both of us really won't be making him happy and times when he clearly likes one of us better. That seems typical as parents begin guiding children through life, manners, and responsibilities. If his mother and I are ever out of sync on discipline or reward, Harry will see through our expert-parent disguises in no time. And, he'll probably just have moods when he relates to one of us more than another. We have years of such excitement primed for our enjoyment with young Harry.

Fortunately for mother, last evening Harry was smiling at both of us. I may have gotten him excited, but his mother took over with prolonged success. And this morning, she reports, Harry smiled at her alone. One crisis averted.


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