March 31, 2004 - Wednesday
Last night after much deliberation, we decided to move Harry to a new child care center. Actually, we made the decision more than a month ago to move Harry to a new school for next year when Jeremy will also start at a center. The main reason for that change was that starting next year Harry's current school will have different hours and policies, the ultimate result of which would be a significant cost increase for Jeremy. So, we looked into a new school that would take both and found that possibility in the preschool that we had originally hoped Harry would go to two years ago when no space was available. We'd also made the decision to move Harry there starting in the summer, for a couple of reasons. First, the new place's summer schedule is very flexible and therefore much less expense for the days we would use. Yet, more importantly, we remain concerned about Harry's current classroom as unstimulating and with discipline problems. It's gotten much better, especially over the last month, but with our decision to sit out registration for next year, the die had been cast. What we decided last night was to move Harry sooner into an opening at the new school, no later than May 1 and perhaps sooner depending one the old place filling Harry's spot.

One of the regrest about leaving before the end of the current session is the feeling of walking out on people who are clearly working hard to better a difficult classroom. That really is outweighed by what's best for Harry, but the implication that we're giving up on them is uncomfortable. That the old center has a waiting list makes that easier.

I will also miss the discussions I've had with the center's director, who seems to look at the process of caring for and raising kids in a similarly strategic way as I do. Our discussion about leaving segued into theories about classroom strategy and the fascinating results from temperarily removing small groups from the class for other activities, how those groups interacted and how the classroom dynamics changed when certain kids, certain "leaders," were removed from the equation. The whole discussion was fascinating, but of particularly interest here was her answer to my casual question about whether Harry was ever one of the leaders.

As expected, she did not say he was. But, as she has told me before, Harry is perfectly capable of both sticking up for himself when necessary and getting right into the fary of activity. (That's nice to hear, because his mother and I were both on the shy and passive side as kids.) However, she added that rather than overtly leading the other kids, she has noticed Harry "directly from behind the scenes" in various situations in the interest of making sure he gets what he wants. For example, more than the other kids, she says, Harry will often clean up fast or get in line first to wash his hands before lunch just so he can get a prime seat at the table next to some other particular child. She's also seen Harry "manipulate" situations. For example, there's three kid limit at the water table at one time. Slyly, Harry will lure a child away from the water table with excitement about some interesting toy, then quickly take the open place at the table. Interestingly, his mother and I have taught him something of the same with Jeremy when they both want the same toy, although our lesson was more about how constantly saying "can I have a turn now" is counter-productive. Beat 'em with brains, not brawn, I suppose.


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