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December 19, 2000 - Tuesday
Harry had just woken up when I picked him up at daycare this afternoon and was a little disoriented and clinging to me. Unfortunately, he also needed a new diaper, which left his clinging urge thwarted and his self unhappy. And, that was an attitude that lingered into the evening and through his bedtime ritual. Usually, his mother lulls Harry to sleep with a milk snack after a bath, but tonight in an over-tired state of frenzy, Harry needed extra persuasion. Fortunately, he has learned, I presume at daycare, that there are times when he's supposed to put his head down and try to go to sleep. And, somewhere along the line, he's also realized that when I lay down with him on the bed and start singing to him, it's one of those times.

And, so it was tonight. Even though he was at first frantic about more activity, it didn't take long for Harry to put his head down on my chest. Yet, his eyes remained wide open and I went through the whole repertoire of my 4-5 usual bedtime songs - it usually doesn't take more than one or two - and started in with others. But, his eyelids showed no signs of drooping.

Every now and then he would even lift his head and look around, as if to search for either some excitement or a way to make an escape. But, he would always put his head down again after a few seconds, seemingly resigned to his fate. On maybe the fourth fifth time, Harry looked right at me, staring right into my eyes. A grin came to my face as I realized that we both knew what was happening and that Harry was being a very good son, trying to go to sleep but not really being ready. As I grinned, I calmly said "hi." A smile came to Harry's face, just a few inches from mind, and he said "hi." It was a dialogue: short, not deep, but a mini conversation nonetheless. We both smiled a second or two more before Harry again rested his head on my chest.

He shifted positions several times, ending up in the crux of my arm and eventually resting just his head on my body with his body across my arm before falling asleep. Somehow he seems much older and wiser about this little sleep routine of mine. And, somehow, that makes it even better that he still went along with it.

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