Jan.
21, 2000 - Friday
I haven't written yet about the classic hazards of changing little boys' diapers,
mostly because I have yet to experience the full and direct wrath of nature
in that circumstance. However, there was a day during Harry's first week I came
literally too close for comfort.
You see, the first time Harry had felt the need to relieve himself whilst between
diapers the effect was quite inconsequential and a mere trickle of enthusiasm.
Subsequently, I let my guard down and ignored the frequent rumors of potential
danger. Moreover , we had unwisely placed our Diaper Genie right next to and
at the business end of our changing table. So, with caution to the wind and
all the time in the world, I leaned over to discard an expired diaper only to
hear the delicate trickle of freedom landing just past my head. Recognizing
both the physics and the biology involved, and with the relative quickness with
which the brain processes aural information, I immediately surmised the existence
of a rainbow of joy coming from the changing table going directly over my head
and onto the floor beyond.
It should come as no surprise that we have since moved the Diaper Genie to the
non-business end of the changing table and that my guard is no longer down.
In fact, I have developed a strategy that has kept me in comfortable clothes
and good hygiene for more than a month. First, I placed a hand towel half on
and half off the business end of the changing pad upon which we place Harry's
business end during changes. In case of need, we can quickly fold the free end
of towel over Harry's momentarily diaper free zone. Second, thinking that relief
is less likely when one is distracted, I've taken the practice of continuously
holding and always swaying Harry's left leg during changing. Preparation of
the diaper, cleaning, powdering, etc. all happen with my one available hand.
Unfortunately, when nature calls loudly, no distraction will stem the inevitable
tide and today Harry shot holes in my theory. Fortunately, no one was hurt,
but my tactics of holding Harry's leg up almost put him in his own line of fire.
More study is clearly needed to refine my strategy. Thankfully, study is ongoing
daily.
