September 27, 2000 - Wednesday
Poor Harry. I thought he already had his cold, but silly me, another round of illness hit his daycare and, unfortunately, babies' immune systems don't have the memory that adults' defenses have. Harry was a champ through his last cold, but this time his sickness is much worse. He looks like he's being worked over and thrown in the gutter and has the droopy eyes and limp body that looks pathetic on any person in his predicament. But, he's just a baby and he looks very sad.

We knew something was up last night because his complaining was quite out of character, as was his immediate refusal to eat at dinner time. He went to bed early and slept almost the entire commute this morning without much breakfast. Since he was still asleep when we got into town, he and I did not go to a park and I just brought him to the lab. He woke up briefly coming inside, but then spent the next three and a half hours sagging and napping on my lap and shoulder. It was clear after just a short time that daycare wasn't the place for him to be. As long as he was resting, I was getting work done and rest was clearly what he needed. I even sat through an entire meeting with a visiting (and understanding) company with Harry resting on my chest and shoulder, barely making a sound.

And, what could he say? He was clearly and completely knocked out by this cold, flu, or whatever and too tired for more than an occasional grumble or string of quiet "uh-ohs," a term he's starting to understand. On the one hand, this was a beautiful morning with my son dapped over and clinging to me for longer than ever before. As babies are when they're at their reputed best, he was quiet, restful, and comfortably warm as he tucked into the curves of my upper torso. Yet, without a doubt, his sorry plight ripped at me like no empathy I have felt before. I suspect only a parent would understand it, but while graciousness and hopefulness for ill friends and family can run deep, I don't believe it compares to the longing a parent feels for an ailing child: at least it did not with me, not today, not with Harry.


Comments, opinions?