July 26, 2004 - Tuesday
I had a interesting little chat today with Rip's dad about the evolving dynamics of Rip and Harry's friendship. Harry has mentioned that Rip has, of late, being saying things like he didn't want to play with Harry and I had asked Rip's dad about whether he had any indication that Harry was being too oppressive by always wanting to play with Rip. Always a thoughtful man, Rip's dad confirmed that he had been watching this evolution as well and suggested that what he saw was Rip in the early stages of exploring the power dynamic of friendships and peers. He said that he thinks he has seen Rip tell Harry he doesn't want to play, or has seen Rip walk away from Harry, but then (effectively) looked over his shoulder to make sure Harry is still following and looking for his attention. And, if he isn't, Rip is just as likely to turn back to find out why not. For the record, Rip's a good kid and none of this seems abnormal for four-year-olds discovering the nature of interpersonal relationships or overly malicious, save the worry that I feel for Harry's self-confidence. As much as anything, it is fascinating to watch unfold. Yet, I was a one-friend kind of kid at that age and I wouldn't be surprised if Harry wasn't so interested in exploring relationships as aggressively. So, I've been talking to Harry about it a lot. I don't know whether that's good or whether it just focuses too much on a problem where there might not be one. I just know that being a little self-aware kid can be awfully difficult and Harry can be such a good kid and I don't want that to work against him.


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