July 2, 2002 - Tuesday
The boys' mother is back to work full time as of yesterday and that means the boys are with me in the morning for an hour and a half before leaving for daycare and then again for a similar time in the afternoon before she returns home. I've been doing that in the afternoon for a few months now on the couple of days each week that she has been working at the archives, so it's not really anything new. But, now it will be every day and I have mixed feelings about it.
I used to enjoy the time with Harry in the mornings, even though it was sometimes a bit of a pain, sometimes awkward, and sometimes unspectacular. That's because there were many times that were fun and, of course, the collection of days together is overwhelmed by positive memories. On the one hand I expect the same from these daily times with Harry and Jeremy. However, I do have some apprehension about doing it with the two of them. They are close in age, but hardly close enough to have the needs at this point and they are, effectively, a distraction to each other's parental attention.
I can't help feeling that Harry has been hearing "can't do that now because I'm holding Jeremy, because Jeremy's sleeping, because I doing it with Jeremy." I guess that's life for an older child, but I'd sure like to continue to spend moments with Harry. Not surprisingly, I'd also like to be able to spend one on one time with Jeremy, who has lived the life of a second child in the virtual attention shadow of an older louder brother. I think that's changed a lot more recently (and I can't help enjoying that Jeremy is pleased to see my when I've picked him up these two days from the new daycare), but it would be so nice to duplicate those times I had with Harry.
I guess I should just be pleased that I have this option at all. So many fathers come home at the kids' bedtime from a long day at work.