April 16, 2004 - Friday
Harry's switch to a new preschool has led to a change in our afternoon pick-up routine. I used to do the same loop in the morning and afternoon, dropping off and picking up Harry before Jeremy. That way Jeremy would spend a little time at Harry's school, then Harry would be with me when I got Jeremy at Mary's house. The new school, however, has a policy that makes a 4pm pick up (instead of 3pm at the old place) a more reasonable cost option and, in the interest of my own vocation, that seemed worth doing. Now, Jeremy is with me both when I drop off and pick up Harry. On the one hand, that's certainly no big deal, especially for just the next four months until Jeremy starts going to the same school. However, I noted earlier this week that Jeremy was understandably frustrated that Harry was getting to stay and "play" at the new school while he was continuing to go to Mary's. At first, that seemed a little unfair to him. It's not that he doesn't like Mary's anymore, just that the new place is, well, "new." Jeremy's is getting to an age of growing awareness of others and the first couple days this week it was hard to get him to leave and I was thinking it was a little unfair. Then, I realized maybe I could turn things around. The truth is that for Jeremy to start going to this new school, he has to be potty trained, or at least well on the way. So, I told him that and, while he hasn't talked acknowledged it much, I'm very sure he understands what I'm saying. The question is whether that pressure is healthy.

I also kind of miss those few minutes alone with Harry, particularly the roughly nine minutes riding in the car to Mary's, asking about his day. I suppose he often didn't say anything, sitting back there in what looked like contemplative thought about the day's events or perhaps what was to come in the afternoon with his brother and dad. But sometimes he did say a few things and sometimes those few words were a window into his otherwise private life at Pre-K. Every now and then he even opened up. Mostly, it was just part of the daily grind of being a parent. But, think of it this way: if once a week Harry said something with substance about his school day, his thoughts, his emotions, his outlook, his friends, his fears, etc., over the course of two years that little routine would have built a portfolio of bonding moments. Most of them are not memorable in isolation, but together they are an ounce of life's blood flowing from father to son and back.


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