March 25, 2005 - Friday
This past Wednesday morning Harry insisted that I not put his snow pants in his outside bag; his collection of boots, mittens, hats, snow pants, and anything he might need to go play outside at school. The teachers have a rule that kids without snow pants aren't allowed to sit, roll, or kneel in the snow. I asked if he were sure that's what he really wanted and he explained that he could just stoop down and kind of sit on his feet and gave me a little demonstration. I figured he must simply not like that the melting, wet snow had been seeping through his snow pants lately and getting his pants wet.

Then some time in the afternoon on Wednesday, shortly before I went to pick up the boys, I had another thought about what was really going on. For the last several days, maybe as many as a couple of weeks, I've arrived to see Rip pushing Harry around in and onto the snow in kind of their typical mock wrestling mode. They've been doing that for months I suppose, but the difference now has been that Harry hasn't been pushing back. He's usually been giggling, but it seemed to me that it was a sort of nervous giggle. Over those couple of weeks Rip has invariably gotten a daily think time for the pushing and I've thought that maybe Harry might just be trying to avoid the think time by not pushing back. Either that or he, realizing that I'm not so fond of the wrestling at school, was just trying to look good for dad. But I've also had my doubts. That nervous laugh has often felt a little more like the kind of laugh that comes from wanting to fit in with friends but not really liking what's going on. It has me remembering the delicate steps of childhood and it has me worrying for Harry. Maybe he just didn't like being pushed around anymore, even in fun. I asked Miss Maria about it earlier in the week, but she said that Harry was pushing, too.

But this afternoon it hit me that maybe the lack of snow pants was Harry's way of avoiding the pushing in the snow altogether. Sure enough, when I picked him up Harry proudly acknowledged that he'd not wanted his snow pants so Rip wouldn't push. He even mentioned later how he had made sure to tell Rip that he didn't have snow pants and that the rule was that he couldn't be pushed into the snow.

I think that's clever thinking. Harry did wear snow pants both yesterday and today, although he hadn't wanted to have them yesterday. I told him how proud I was that he had figured out such a smart way to solve his problem, but that he also shouldn't like anyone spoil his fun if he really wanted to play in the snow. Maybe, I said, he should try it with snow pants this time and see. I didn't tell him this, but I figured I would alert Miss Maria to this new dynamic and that she would likely watch a little more closely. She smiled and said "good for Harry" for figuring out a way to deal with it so nicely.


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