August 21, 2002 - Wednesday
I got home last night after midnight and this morning when Harry came in and saw me in bed he smiled, came over, and climbed on the bed. He hugged me through the covers and I happily hugged him back. Then , of course, he started jumping on me, but I suppose that was fine, too. Yet, as this weekday morning moved on into our normal routine of breakfast, short play, then teeth brushing and going to school, I got the clear sense that Harry had no interest in having me take him to and leave him at school. His behavior was never particularly unsavory, but his agitation increased as the time moved forward and closer to leaving for school. Then, as I dropped him off, for the first time at this school he put on a show of tears, saying he did not want me to leave him. Of course, he had a marvelous day at school according to the teachers and I wouldn't have expected otherwise. Those outward displays have happened before. But, this time it seemed pretty clear that my return from a trip was the reason and he, having seen my for little more than an hour and a half, wasn't ready to have me disappear from view so quickly. It's got to be hard on a little boy. Parents, perhaps specifically fathers, are such a huge part of their young lives it seems. We are best friends, best playmates, and the most important to please. I suspect that right now, to Harry, I am huge and that he will love me more over the next year than ever again in his life. That's both thrilling and surreal.

Jeremy smiled when he saw me this morning, too, and that lasted a little while. But, when I dropped him off at his baby-sitter's, he quickly went crawling over to her and gave her a hug. At least he did the same to me when I picked him up again this afternoon.


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