April 1, 2004 - Thursday
We've acquiesced to Jeremy's demands to wear underpants three mornings this week and each time he's gotten to Mary's without having wet his pants. Of course, that was mostly because we have made him use the toilet when he gets up and then again an hour later before we left. He's never made it much farther then that and today he peed in his pants before I left Mary's house.

But, the whole thing has been foolish. We should never have started him on this over the weekend nor let him wear them during the week, because he is just not ready. He's never showed the ability to keep his pull-up dry without constant encouragement to use the toilet or any real desire to use the bath on his own or even on his on initiative. Worse, he's has never admitted it when he has wet his pants, although based on his change in demeanor I'm sure he's noticed it each time and that only means he's learning to accept that condition as tolerable. I guess we'd thought that we ought to just go with it if he was interested in underwear. After all, it worked so well for Harry. But, then Harry was almost a year older and ultimately had much greater control of his body. Jeremy, on the other hand, is just interested in being a big boy.

At first I was a little disappointed that Mary wasn't helping him more by getting to the bathroom more often. But, she's had a lot more experience with kids than we have. If holding it means nothing to him yet, if the need to use to bathroom rather than peeing freely doesn't mean anything to him yet, then the rest of it is a little pointless, even if he thinks he wants to wear underpants.

I guess that's obvious enough. He should keep the pull-ups dry first. Admittedly, some people think pull-ups aren't the right way to go either and that just letting them figure it out by fire (or water) is best. And, I guess that's what we were thinking. But, there has to be a basic understanding, a self-awareness, and a desire. Otherwise, it's a fools game.


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