January 14, 2002 - Monday
Over just the last couple of days, Jeremy has reached a much more animated level of conversing. Of course, for Jeremy that means more "oohs," "aahs," and other happy baby sounds, but he's noticeably interacting now and it's getting my attention. I have to admit that it's has been far too easy both logistically and emotionally for me to wait for this time, rather than take the proactive role I think I did with Harry as an infant. Maybe it's Harry running literal and figurative circles around Jeremy and in need of more monitoring. Maybe it's the second child problem of I've seen it all before. But, it's taken a little time for me to come to know Jeremy.

From talking with others I don't think that this lack of immediate bonding with second children is uncommon. A cousin of mine was known to say shortly after his second child was born that he would enthusiastically jump in front of a train to save his first and he'd do the same for the second, but perhaps not as enthusiastically. I think I understand. There's no default bond with any new person one meets. It has to develop. It happens much more quickly with a first child because there are no other distractions.

My cousin has long since said that his two kids now receive the same enthusiasm all around and that there is no favorite. He never said specifically when that change occurred, but for me it's happening now. Among other things, I've come almost full circle on Jeremy's temperament. I no longer feel he is less laid back than Harry was. Indeed, it often seems he's more easy going than Harry. Now I'm thinking that his early crying and fussiness just lacked novelty. And, while Harry is now at such a wonderful age of a blossoming self, every now and then when I'm with Jeremy, Harry's nonstop action seems boarish compared to the gentle cooing of a new mind.


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