January 12, 2005 - Wednesday
Yesterday before school Harry said something about not liking the particular bed sheet that was in his bag for nap time (we supply a sheet and blanket for daily rest time). It was the kind of comment that almost surely wasn't out of nowhere and it didn't take very long for Harry to admit that Rip had been making fun of the cartoon-like giraffes and rhinoceroses on Harry's sheet. Harry said Rip called it a "baby sheet" and that made him uncomfotable.

This is the stuff of childhood, but I think it extremely tricky. We've tried hard to teach Harry and Jeremy to be friendly and respectful and not to be nasty to others and now Harry is having to experience someone, his best friend, doing exactly that to him. What's more, Rip uninhibited nature might even make it sound credible and "cool." How do I teach Harry that it's not his fault if Rip makes him feel bad?

On the way to school yesterday I tried to talk with him about how it was just nonsense, how logically it didn't matter what was on his sheet. But, I can easily remember how logic didn't really help very much in these situations when I was a kid. It's much more about self-confidence. I suggested some things that Harry might say if it happened again.
"What's wrong with giraffes and rhinoceroses? They're part of 'nature' and you like nature. Right?" I asked.
"Yeah," he said without much sign of confidence.
"What kind of sheet does Rip have."
"Bob the Builder," Harry said.
"Bob the Builder? Harry, when was the last time you watched Bob the Builder?"
"When I was three," he answered with a little bit of a smile.
"That's right! So you've got a sheet about nature and Rip has one for a toddler show." I tried to be funny and asked, "so, who's really the baby here?" I asked.
"Rip," he said sounding a lot happier..

Unfortunately, the condifence didn't seem to make it through the day and Harry said again that Rip made fun of his sheet. I tried again with many of the same and a few new arguments, including the straight forward fact that no one can make Harry feel bad unless he lets them.
"Harry, how much is one plus one?"
"Two."
"OK, what if I say one plus one is four? It doesn't matter how many times I say it, it's just wrong. So who's the goof, me or you?"
"You are."
"That's right."

This afternoon Harry seemed a little less alarmed by anything Rip might have said about his sheet, but who knows whether he's comfortable with it, and more importantly, confident about it.


Comments, Opinions?