August 31, 2005 - Wednesday
Any parent will tell you that this one step (left) is one of the biggest milestones of a child's first dozen years or so of life. I'm sure that's true, although I think what the child thinks of it can vary greatly, no doubt having a lot to do with the child's personality and previous experiences. For Harry it was, this first step onto a school bus on his first day of kindergarten, an exciting and proud moment about which he seemed to have no anxiety. He marched up the steps and probably wouldn't have even turned had his mother and I not called out to him. Then, with a brief turn of the head and a cursory wave, he was on to his seat near the front of the bus.

Yet, if a parent says that this first step onto a school bus is a big milestone for the child, they're not telling the whole truth. This is a milestone for the parents, and probably more for them than it is for the child. After all, Harry, for example, has been going to "school" for three years and to a family daycare before that. This step is what happens next now that he's five and going on six. It's a big deal to him I'm sure, his proud smile coming down off the bus at the end of the day is unmistakable proof of that. But what does Harry know of milestones?

What does Harry remember about the day he was born? What does Harry remember about the first time he smiled at me or first called me "dad"? He has no idea of the dramatic changes he brought to our lives, nor is it likely he remembers his first step, nor the times when he was sick, nor any of the other times that made us reflect on his life and the person he is becoming. And maybe Harry knows it to some level, but he certainly can't appreciate that never before in his life has he taken such a bold step toward independence that puts him out of our watchful, parental eyes. It's just the school bus, but the school bus as we all remember from childhood, is one of the few places were kids of this age are relatively free from parental oversight, save one adult whose first responsibility is driving the bus, and lots can happen, for good and bad. It's an ocean, or at least to a parent it feels that way, and we're sending him out into it and onto it by himself. Now that's a milestone.


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